It appears advertisers have sunk to a new low. First, it was pop-up ads littering the internet like so many annoying door-to-door salesmen. Then, it was the subtle inclusion of slogans and product logos into movies and video games. Soon thereafter, targeted Google ads began sprouting up on Rodion's heretofore friendly and welcoming blog like weeds on a pristine backyard lawn. But today, the proverbial final straw was placed on the dromedary's back with all the delicacy of an iron anvil. I awoke this morning to find the following bit of propaganda lodged uncomfortably in the comments section of one of my posts:
"Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field. Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day. Hope to hear from you soon!"
Is nothing sacred? Can we not be spared their greedy manipulations even on our home turf!? What's next, floating advertisements which fly into your house, flittering back and forth just inches from your face, assaulting you with product information, but fast enough to out-maneouver your attempts to swat them like a bug? The answers to those rhetorical questions would seem to be "No," "Never," and "Most assuredly," respectively.
Despite the admitted attention I've been receiving from this vile person, he or she hasn't actually been reading my blog in the plain meaning sense of the word "reading." If he had (I refuse to believe a woman could be capable of something so inhuman), then he surely would have noticed the headline "studying law," which to most non-bloodsucking people would imply going to law school or maybe taking pre-law courses as an undergraduate. Either way, I'm already "advancing [my] life a bit" and have no need for snake oil cure-alls, magic diet pills, and effort-free, presumably unaccredited academic degrees which the working world would probably not even spare the time to scoff at.
So, Mr. Advertiser, while getting a "totally confidential" PhD without being irritated by any of the inconvenient aspects of the higher education process like exams, books, and learning sounds appealing, I think I'll pass on your proposal, thank you very much. Unless of course, you also offer advanced courses in bullshit -- that, at least, might help my legal career.
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1 comment:
Man stop trying to lie.
You know you have sold out just like Ro, but are trying to be damn sneaky about it!
And I don't know who you are trying to impress...but women can be just as gangsta as some dudes when it comes to scamming folks and placing ads so stop that nonsense right now.
Oh and I'll be giving poker lessons nowadays and I offer rakeback. PM me for more info (I figured I might as well advertise on your site as well).
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